Last week my neighbor was getting gutter covers put on his house. He had the bright idea to put a big black rubber snake in his gutter to surprise the gutter guard installer. It didn’t work out as planned.

It seamed like a great idea to Chuck when he put it in the gutter on the front of his house. The thought of one of the gutter guys screaming like a girl made me chuckle when he called me to let me in on it just after they arrived. I asked him if he really wanted to go through with it because someone could get hurt. He said that the front of his house is so low that if one of the installers fell in the shrubs they couldn’t get hurt. I took his word for it and peeked out my window to check on the guys progress. It looked slow going.

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Friday afternoon should have been a lucky day for thirty-two year old house roofer Frank Murphy. After finding out he was the winner of a drawing for a new Sony PS3 video Game console he got a little liquored up while waiting for the scheduled time to pick it up.

Murphy and his friend showed up at the local electronic store at 8pm. There was a camera crew to greet the winner and film the presentation. The Canadian winner was very excited about his new PS3. A little too much. At the presentation he started screaming and dancing around. After calming down the camera crew asked if he was excited about his win. For some reason that just set Murphy off. He started cursing at the film crew and shoved the camera out of his face.

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After going 5 years without draining our septic tank we were starting to have flushing problems. I called the local honey wagon service to get us fixed up and they said they would send someone out the next day.

Septic service man Danny arrived in the morning and my wife and her sister walked him over to our tank cover. Danny was about 75 years old and looked to be experienced at his job. Danny pulled the cement cover off the tank and bent over to get a look at the job ahead. The first thing he said was, “Oh crap”. My wife yelled back, “Is it that bad”. Danny said, “No but I just dropped my false teeth down into the septic tank”.

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